Incogitance

2002-11-18T11:47:00.000-08:00

"You see this?"

She asked, indicating the angel charm I had given to her in a pathetic attempt to bring us back together. Perhaps it wasn't just the hope of us together I wanted to signify, but the affirmation of our separation. Failing that, it would also be a permanent reminder, to me at least, of this period, this person, and our life together.

"You are my guardian angel. I will always remember you; you will always be with me. I will never forget you."

Her voice was accompanied by the music that had crept through the open patio door. A melodic synth, a diva longing for her unrequited love, all backed by the hard and heavy 808 induced breakbeat intensified this moment.

What we had been through, all of my fears, my thoughts, my inaction, and my reaction, all came back to me in that instant. I can't be sure if I had said anything, being too involved in the memories. The feelings were forming in my head of how I had loved her, how sorry I was that all of this had happened, feelings long since suppressed had now been brought to the forefront of my mind. I had wanted to revisit these thoughts with her, but now was neither the time nor the place. There would never be another time to revisit these thoughts. All of that had been experienced before. Now was a time for good-byes and condolences.

The patio door shut, muffling the music just enough for me to regain my composure. Looking her straight in the eyes and giving her a look I would hope express to her how much what she said meant to me, I nodded, thanked her, and told her I would never forget her. This is all that would be necessary. An awkward hug had followed, like many awkward moments with her before. The clubs patio door had opened again; hard and fast steps were coming towards us on the wood planks, stopping at us as we finish our moment.

"We've got to go."

Looking up to see her boyfriend, and then down to his hand, which was bleeding profusely.

"Go, I'll give you a call, I'm leaving on Wednesday, maybe we can have lunch or something."

I had wanted to spend some more time with her, alone, in not so much of a public place. A place that didn't define the lifestyle that had led to our disgraceful decision. I knew it wouldn't happen, I had called her, and we never made it for lunch. It was probably for the better.

I haven't any idea where she is now, besides not where I left her. I don't even know why I feel like I should share this with anyone, all I know is that I would never wish upon anyone to have to go through an abortion. All I keep regretting is that I gave her that damn charm, as if she didn't have enough to remember me by.

2002-08-14T09:03:00.000-07:00

Okay...long time no blog.

Since the last time I've written anything I've moved in to a bigger place, changed my desire to live in that place, gone on a wonderful vacation to the Oregon Coast, and taken on some freelance consulting projects.

Enough with me, the main reason I'm writing today is to share with you the Seamless City project.

"Seamless City is a continuous visual image of the city made up of sequential photos of a walk through the city shot from a pedestrian point of view. Each image is visually connected to the next as the objects are in the real world."

The city in question would be San Francisco.

This project appears to be using technologies like Photoshop in composing multitudes of hi-res photos San Francisco street scenes in order to get a street level "pedestrian" feel.

My only question is how do you convey the feeling of a structure towering over you? While this appears to be a painstaking effort, my only criticism is that the perspective is less than that of a pedestrian feel and more of a backlot, cardboard cutout feel a la "Blazing Saddles".

Not a "dis" still really a "tight" project.

2002-05-13T00:25:00.000-07:00

Oh wow...just randomly checking some server logs and it looks like I'm finally getting picked up on Google and some other search engines I've subscribed myself to.

Well, I've recently migrated from Qwest DSL because they are transitioning to an MSN tie in deal which I think is completely horrible. All I need is a pipeline to the internet, I've got my networking( inter and intra ) set up exacltey like I need to for my enterprise. I do not need the fancy bells and whistles that make it so convenient and usable for the "How do I play games and get my e-mail" crowd.

So I've converted over to a local ISP who've made things really nice for me. I'm entitled to some web space and actually a shell account if I believe correctly( with SSH support I'm hoping ). So I should get some graphics and other design modifications done soon, seeing as I have a place to put all of my files that I'm paying for( and not subjected to ridiculous no deep linking crap ).

Stay tuned( like anythings been interesting so far ).

2002-03-29T10:23:00.000-08:00

Hmmm...I took a vacation in the middle of the week, only to come back on Friday and then have the weekend off. For some reason I wanted to have the middle of the week off, but never fully got accomplished what I wished to...but I'm glad I took a vacation anyway. The weather is turning really nice in the area and the flowers and trees are blooming...it's just very energizing.

Celebrity themed F5 this week, but I imagine it has something to do with a couple of celebrities dying recently.

I try not to pay too much attention to people who for one reason or another, a commercial firm has decided that an individual is a profitable investment. There are plenty of good writers, singers, artists, and just plain beautiful people who never get recognized. Or at least, don't prostitute their abilities.

1. If you could eat dinner with and "get to know" one famous person (living or dead), who would you choose?

Moby

2. Has the death of a famous person ever had an effect on you? Who was it and how did you feel?

Princess Di's passing affected somehow. I suppose it had something to do with her charity work for children in 3rd world countries.

3. If you could BE a famous person for 24 hours, who would you choose?

No thanks. I'd feel too obligated to spend "quality" time with anyone genuinley interested in me. No one has that much time, and I'd not be willing to bend my ideals.

4. Do people ever tell you that you look like someone famous? Who?

Henh...I've heard George Clooney a couple a times...usually right after I get a haircut. I definatley don't see it.

5. Have you ever met anyone famous?

Me and a friend chatted with Dickey Barrett from the Mighty Mighty Bosstones and his girlfriend for about 15 minutes after a set in which he finished by stage diving in to a pool. Can't remember the conversation, but the feeling was like talking to your buds about what you were doing for the weekend or what you were going to do, really comfortable.

2002-03-22T10:12:00.000-08:00

Hello again, I've managed to hurt myself like I seem to do every Thursday evening and then come in to work all achey. I love my preekeend. If the atmosphere and the people weren't such a good mix and the drinks so stiff at this one club I seem to spend every Thursday in, I'd never have this problem. I'm slowly becoming a lush( or it has already since long happened but now it's getting to me as I get older ).

Which remind me, tomorrow's my 25th birthday! I dunno how I feel about becoming a quarter of a century old. It doesn't matter I guess really, 'cuz I'm having a surprise birthday thingy that's been all planned out for weeks now...well it's somewhat of a surprise...I only know that somethings happening...dinner to be general. But still I'm excited due to the people planning it...here's the F5.

1. What is your favorite time of year?

Summer, most definatley.

2. What is it about your favorite season that, well, makes it your favorite season?

Well it used to be the beach that I lived near in Florida. All the tourists, people in and out in a week, then the next week comes around and you've got new people to hang out with. The really brilliant shade of sea-blue that the ocean turns around that time of year. After moving farther north it's even better. The weather isn't so hot as it was in Florida and the city just comes alive with this awesome Summer energy, and multitudes of events. Everybody comes out and gets active.

3. What is your least favorite time of year? Why?

I guess if I had to pick, it'd be Winter. Only because of the rain...not snow, constant rain...for months at a time, without a break.

4. Do you do anything to celebrate or recognize the changing of seasons?

Well gee shuck's no, I've never thought about it.

5. What's your favorite thing to do outside?

Stare at the clouds go by, walk, breathe, live...oh, and frisbee.

Everyone have a wonderful weekend!!!

Happy birthday to me...happy birthday to me....

2002-03-19T09:55:00.000-08:00

It's been a busy week for the archaelogical world recently.

A Mayan mural has been found, it is the oldest one found to date.

An Incan settlement has been found in the Andes of Peru. It too is the oldest one they have found to date.

There is a possibility that The Palace of Helen of Troy ruins have been located.

An Assyrian tomb has been found in Iraq which contains an amount of treasures in it that promises to be more valuable than all that was found in King Tut's tomb. One can only wonder how hard it would be for Western archaelogists to have access to this find.

Archaelogists are using Virtual Reality technology to study the remains of a mummy.

Now why the interest in Archaeology? It is not a serious interest, only someting that I keep an eye on. Close family members are in to it way more than I am. My earliest interest in archaeology has got to be this report I researched( if you can call it that at that age ) was involving Atlantis. So I guess my real interest would have to be in Mystical Archaeology. As evidenced by my interest in the books of Erich von Daniken, the correlations between the Constillation Orion and the Pyramids at Giza, and the Temple of Angkor Wat and the constellation Draco. I also have a real interest in the Mayan calander and why did they only calculate up until 2012?

2002-03-15T08:59:00.000-08:00

It's Friday Five time again!

1. What's your favorite animal?

Nothing too exotic here...cats. Been around kitties all my life, and I love'm.

2. What pets have you had in your lifetime?

Cats...seven of them in total. My parents had 2 cats before I was born, they grew old(very old) as I grew up, my mom picked up 3 cats since then. I've had 2 cats of my very own. I also had some pet mice that were for a science project (nothing serious). One of them lasted 2 years before Cleo (my first kitty) got in the cage somehow and gave the poor thing a heartattack. Currently my pet count is one crazy kitty (Bootsy) 2 frogs and a newt.

3. Is there any specific pet that you've wanted but never had? Why?

A Gecko! They're sooo colorful and interesting. Why don't I have one...just haven't been in a position where I would feel safe having such an exotic pet. (shrug)

4. Are you allergic to any animals?

I have been so blessed as to not be allergic to any animals.

5. Do you have any 'pet' pet peeves (your pets or others')?

Female cats in heat...sometimes they can give you too much love. Way too much. Sorry if this seems rude or cruel but I've had to lock my cats in bedrooms or bathrooms when they've been so afflicted. They want to rub on everything you're trying to work with...and they stick their butts in your face.

2002-03-14T14:11:00.000-08:00

Google launched it's news search application recently. I had been monitoring the headlines using this link, but today, while getting my news for the day, to my surprise I found a brand new interface...complete with a search bar!

Now, more than ever, is it easy to stay on top of the advancements of the man machine interface! Oh..and any other thing that strikes your fancy.

2002-03-08T10:03:00.000-08:00

It's that time again, thanks to the Friday Five I actually make a regular posting. Just one, one damn week, I wish I had without any interruptions or anyone else wanting to do this or that. Snowboarding, help me with this programming thingy, fix the network, do some graphics, find this program for me, come out to the club with me, play this game with me. I love all my friends so much but dammit, I've got shit I'm trying to do!!! Oh well, here it is...

1. What makes you homesick?

I guess I'm still looking for my home. But what makes me homesick for my families house is just the cute little town in upstate New York that it resides in. Where hockey is king and the SUNY there takes up half of all the town.

2. Where is "home" for you? Is it where you are living now, or somewhere else (ie: Mom & Dad's house, particular state/city)?

Portland, OR is definatley my home...just not the house I'm in right now.

3. What makes it home for you? People? Things?

Definatley the people and the nature around here. Nevermind the sporadic weather; the mountains, hills, trees and the fact that just about eveyone you meet seems to be in a good mood is what makes it home.

4. Where is the furthest you've been from home, miles-wise?

Whatever the mileage from each of the US coasts to the middle of the country is, that's the farthest I've been, and I was there for a considerable amount of time.

5. What are your plans for this weekend?

Henh, snowboarding and programming...wee.

Peace!

2002-03-05T10:59:00.000-08:00

I have just spent the past 30 minutes and numerous tries to acquire basic information about my Dell Financial Services lease.

Now, I love Dell, and have even had satisfactory service from the DFS division. But now that I'm trying to close out my account after 3 years of being in this damnable lease with them, they are impossible to contact.

After waiting on hold for 15 minutes after punching in the extension I have been given for the lease department I finally get a human:

"Your account number please"
"Zeroh Zeroh Two..."
"Is this a lease?"
"Yeah"
"Okay I'm going to transfer you to the lease department , there extension for future reference is..."
"45312...yeah, that's the extension this is"
"Thank you for calling Dell financial Services, I'll put you through"

"You-current-wait-will be-30-minutes"

.click.

Decide to give the web a try...oh wonderful...the main website works, but the damn area I need to get to is in a perpetual wait...

Needless to say, I'm frustrated.

2002-03-04T09:48:00.000-08:00

Migration

I have recently come across a new blogging service which provides comments, customizable columns( for links etc., instead of cluttering up your template ), and seemingly more functionality in the template system. Upsaid appears to be built on mySQL and PHP which appeals to my "free the code" mentality. For a while I will be mirroring the content between my Upsaid blog and this one, and may eventually phase this one out. That is if I can actually commit to anything I say I will do :).

Go check it out.

2002-03-01T02:33:00.000-08:00

Wow! What a wonderful week. There are so many things I would like to write about, but I have opted for a time when things start quieting down. I've been to a memorial rave/party/celebration of life( of which I will divulge feelings about circumstances ), spent some quality time with very important people in my life, been productive in the studio, and have had a few ideas about some timley topics to discuss. But as of right now( oh about 2:30am my time ), I am acutley inebriated, and am far too conscious about whatever may come out...so here's the Friday Five!

1. What's your favorite vacation spot?

That would have to be Myrtle Beach( not sure which Carolina at this moment...North? ), and surrounding areas. It has been a migration point during the Summer for my immediate/extended family for eons.

2. Where do you consider to be the biggest hell-hole on earth?

Wyoming, or at least the part of it while during my trip to my current habitation we had to stop for 3 hours for a gas station to open. Beginning of spring and snowing...and icey...and interesting people who directed us to a town 11 miles away in some mining community...who of which the residents were interesting...

3. What would be your dream vacation?

Quick little event filled jaunt somewhere in the Orient. Most likely Japan.

4. If you could go on a road-trip with anyone, who would it be and why?

It would definatley have to be with my friend Summer...anywhere, just as long as we were able to places we enjoy being and getting to, the conversation ould fill in the slow points. Guess what! It looks like it might actually happen soon. There is an oppurtunity to go to San Fran sometime in the early spring via train, and then drive back up. Oooh...a train down the coast and through the redwoods( if not the exact route it still should be beautiful ), and a car drive up the West Coast on 101...drool....

5. What are your plans for this weekend?

It's my girlfriends 21st Birthday and the local Art & Crafts, semi-permenant event( Saturday Market ) is opening on her birthday. We'll probably head up there and find something interesting, then dinner with family, and then drinking! ...hey..it is a 21st birthday :)

I hope everyone enjoys their weekend. Peace!

2002-02-22T09:00:00.000-08:00

Happy Friday! More and more I'm coming to the realization that all of corporate America doesn't solely work for their family or debts. An overriding theme of the whole workweek is "I bust my ass all week for that one day!". Work hard/Play harder ethic 'yah dig?!

So, without further adieu[drumroll...]The Friday Five!

1. Hey, baby, what's your sign? Do you think it fits you pretty well?

Aries. Almost too well.

2. What's the worst birthday gift you've ever received

It would seem that no gifts have been so bad that I would remember them.

3. What's the best birthday gift you've ever received?

CHEESECAKE! A sampler of New York cheesecake, 5 different types( cappucino, strawberry, peanut butter 'n chocolate, plain, chocolate ). Then taking the following day off and staying in bed all day with my girlfriend, devouring all the leftovers( 10 pieces...).

4. What's the best way you've celebrated your birthday thus far?

21st, Club LaVela in Panama City Beach, FL. The height of springbreak my birthday falls in, drastically changing my life forever :)

5. What are your plans for this weekend?

I've got absolutley nothing planned. Studio time, friend time, girlie time. That's about it.

2002-02-19T22:29:00.000-08:00

Bush takes a trip to South Korea, screws a word up, value of yen goes down.

Cremetory can't pay bills for running the fires, bodies pile up...for years...

Master P to be the next MC Hammer?

Microsoft to be forced to release source code to 8 states in the 4 year long antitrust suit.

Miss Cleo under fire for being shifty. Shouldn't she have seen it coming?

Office of Strategic Influence...well that's one way to describe a propaganda machine.

2002-02-19T12:44:00.000-08:00

Office sustenance

In any office-type environment there are bound to be people who eat. Regardless of placement in the org-chart people need to eat. Even techies...caffeine and sugar can only go so far.

If you find yourself in such an environment, maybe not quite where you want to be in these "hard times", and you are looking for shortcuts in your budget, live off of the abundance of food in your office area.

The winter holidays are a great time of the year where you can practically go for a 2 months without buying any groceries for yourself. But it is possible to supplement your grocery budget by cutting out breakfast and lunch. Any free food is good food, nevermind when it should be eaten. I've seen breakfast goodies stay out all day with a few things left that they'd only be thrown out at the end of the day.

Meetings happen all the time, and to satiate people in these sometimes sleep-inducing affairs, food is catered in. Normally breakfast cakes and bagels donuts etc. Along with coffee. There are always leftovers from this meeting, sometimes even more than double what was required by the particpants, and a leftover platter will keep you full all day. Providing you make your intervals to the platter spaced out enough as to not encounter the same people( doing the same thing you're doing ) more than once at the feast.

Now if you're lucky enough to actually have a say in what get's ordered, you've hit jackpot. Normally the ordering is being done from some place that has these humoungous orders of food. A lunch that you've selected! And you have enough for the whole week if you portion it correctly!

It's been my experience that office type people want you to eat. It's some weird frenzy that these people get in to when there's food just lying around. Oftentimes I have been goaded in to eating something when I pass by a plate without a second glance.

Save yourself a little change and enjoy in the bounty of the office goodies.

2002-02-19T12:22:00.000-08:00

How rude!

Taking part in any online community has it's downfalls. Unsolicited e-mail would be one of them. Apperently a good portion of people who participate in the Friday Five were sent an e-mail informing them of a similar community doing practically the same thing on a different day. This just reeks of hopelessness. Monging off an idea and then soliciting the users of the idea you ripped off is weak.

2002-02-15T10:00:00.000-08:00

Happy Friday everyone!( anyone? )

Valentines Day was really quite good this year! I think it's very important to enjoy the holiday with a group of friends. Although I did take some time to focus on one particular amazing individual. Dinner at a...I want to say "greasy spoon" type of diner. It definatley was a diner, but didn't have the greasy spoon type of food, it was more vegetarian than anything, and the dinner was awesome( ginger lemonade roqz! ). Then we went to see Vanilla Sky...quite perplexing to say the least. After the couple activities had convened, picked up the rest of my friends and went to a "rave" or whatever...they're just parties to me. Had fun...as soon as we found the place, they moved it from the original location and the sign that was to direct all party-goers to the new location wasn't all that visible. Ended up leading a pack of cars( well...2 more behind me ) to the location. Eventful and chill, and an all around good time on V-Day...YAY! ( for once )

Although I have this dull...buzzing...cloudy headache...and I only had a few beers...

Friday Five

1. What was the first thing you ever cooked?

Well, of course there's spaghetti and mac n' cheese, but those don't count. I'd have to say a breakfast burrito: eggs, sausage, cheese, salsa, tortilla. I was quite pleased with it...haven't made one in a while. Mmmmm...

2. What's your signature dish?

Tough one here, I don't cook often, so everytime I cook it's something new because I haven't tried making it yet...so I'd have to say variety is my "signature dish".

3. Ever had a cooking disaster? (tasted like crap, didn't work, etc.) Describe.

Well I've burned a few frozen pizzas...but the only dish I made from scratch I didn't like too much was a lentil and rice dish that I put jalapenos in...too many jalapenos...

4. If skill and money were no object, what would make for your dream meal?

Lobster( w/gobs of melted butter ), steak( medium..I'm a wuss ), garlic mashed 'taters...drooool...

5. What are you doing this weekend?

Going to try to go to a local park with afforementioned amazing individual, and some other places to take pictures and hang out. Probably also clean the house, take care of bills and play some Unreal Tournament. :)

Take care!

2002-02-14T17:36:00.000-08:00

The U.S. government had 7 chances to prevent the 9.11 attacks. How many more times will it take for our well funded, government provided agencies fail its citizens, before we do something about it?

In-depth( albeit somewhat conspiracy theorist ) breakdown of the inconsistincies of the 9.11 attacks which point to America having some involvement( or tragic non-involvement ) in the events of that day. Ingest with heavy amounts of salt.

Suspected ringleader of group that kidnapped WSJ reporter Daniel Pearl, flip-flops his story on whether or not Pearl is alive.

300+ years and white folks are still screwing with Native American's land, property, and money.

A forum with the focus on differences between cultural groups. Example: "Why Do White People Smell Like Wet Dogs When They Come Out Of The Rain?"

Charts and statistics on socioeconomic effects of War on developing countries. Net result: War = Bad.

Established group conducts serious research in the science of sound (hehe)

2002-02-14T13:47:00.000-08:00

I've added another box to my blog which has links to randomly selected blogs on it: Blogsnob. It is a link sharing, textad based application for the blogging community. Check it out!

2002-02-13T17:49:00.000-08:00

Peanut Butter goes best with Culture Jam

2002-02-12T17:29:00.000-08:00

Fight phone spam by asking them to hold.

Club La Vela in Panama city Beach, Florida will seek at least $4.6 million for legal fees and compensation for business losses.
For more on Club LaVela and their trial under ( and acquittal from ) the "crack house" law. Check EMDEF

More on OxyContin abuse in Florida...this time in my home town.

Graphic Design Communities:

Something Leet
Spoono
Deviant Art
Deskmod

Tutorials, code, forums, icons, wallpapers...all that dope shit.

Electronic Music Communities:

United Trackers
DnB Scene New community, help it grow!
Scene

2002-02-10T12:30:00.000-08:00

Inspiration

There has been a lot of concern recently in my life, along the lines of why aren't I working hard on something creative. Or, coincidentally, why am I being...oh...somewhat irresponsible I guess when I could be working on all of these projects I've committed myself to in one-way or the other.

I have decided it comes down to how I am gaining inspiration for these creative endeavors.

Searching for inspiration, finding it, and living it has become quite important for me now. It seems as if all of my time spent on this Earth so far really hasn't been all that inspirational. Sure there were the tumultuous teen years where poetry, songs, and other diversions I had occupied myself with, were very creative times. Of course, looking back, it was all just learning. Just like everything, until my last moments on Earth, is learning in one capacity or the other.

So I am spending a lot of time, experiencing and living life, filling it with things that I feel are important to me right now. I am almost content and may have a few solid ideas( gained from inspirational moments, or just feelings gained through living ) to actually do something. Having committed myself to these projects with the people around me( who are very very important to me ) and not following through with them( vis a vis my living, searching for inspiration. Is a bit of a strain on everyone.

I am trying to do alot. Maintaining the relationships and experiences I am gaining inspiration through, making these commitments with my "partners in crime", and just fucking off occasionally :), coupled with my increasingly apparent memory problems( You see...I have this condition... ) I have fallen victim to scheduling too many things at coinciding times. So I place myself in the unadmirable position of deciding, at that moment what I want to do. Peoples feelings may get hurt( depending on what the decision is ), or their feelings about me are changed, about how serious I am. That hurts, I don't want to let anyone down, and I want to do what I say I will do.

But I also want to live so I have something to create about.

2002-02-09T16:23:00.000-08:00

Friday 5 ( day late, I know... )

1. What's the most romantic thing you've ever done for someone else?

There's a few things that I've done romantic for someone else, but the earliest one I can remember is that my brother( who was an infant at this time ) had these bears on a mobile. Well I thought they were cute and something to give to the girls in my 2nd grade class. So I cut them off and gave them to them. I can even remember some the girls names, Candice, Emily, Anne, Megan...that's all I can remember, I think there were 2 more bears though I'm not sure :)

2. What are your erogenous zones?

Ears...definatley the ears, and my back...the little hairs right at the bottom of the back before it becomes booty.

3. How old were you the first time you had sex? Care to expound?

I was 21...late for a guy I guess. But I had a real prolem bangin' girls who were drunk...and well, everyone I know lost there virginity when they were drunk. That might explain things.

4. What's the most unusual place you've ever had sex?

Nothing spectacular here. Managed to make it off the bed and on to the floor a coupla times...all around the living room, bedroom, studio. But just the floor.

5. Do you have plans for Valentine's Day or is it just another Thursday?

I dunno. I think I'm going to a party with my freinds. But Valentines Days plans always seem to blow up in my face in the worst way. So I'm might stay home and play in the studio.

...i feel so dirty...

2002-02-09T16:22:00.000-08:00

2002-02-08T18:08:00.000-08:00

Iceberg twice the size of Manhattan breaks off of Antarctica glacier. "Experts" say it's because of global warming. Don't believe them.

Maybe you'll think twice about abusing Oxycontin after reading this. Or maybe it's time to take a trip to Florida.

Bush, Oil, and the Taliban. Interview with French writers of "Bin Laden: The Forbidden Truth".

Cool or creepy? US military working on projects to control the weather since at least 1970.
Air Force White paper on weather control as a mitigating factor in wartime success by 2025.

DEA deems products produced using hemp now illegal. Join the cause against this stupidity.

What's the big deal about legos?

Pot shrinks tumors: Government knew in '74

2002-02-08T00:38:00.000-08:00

Well...The Olympics are starting Tomorrow, you know what that means...get ready for more suspicious packages.

Study hints at how drastic evolutionary changes between successive generations occurs.

Forget The Segway, as soon as they perfect it, I want one of these.

"He also forced everyone, small and great, rich and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark on his right hand or on his forehead, so that no one could buy or sell unless he had the mark, which is the name of the beast or the number of his name."

"Back in my day, you had to smoke 2 or 3 joints...BOTH WAYS! Even then you weren't sure if you were going to get high! This shit nowadays knocks me on my ass!" Older pot smokers finding they prefer lower-grade marijuana.

House passes cyber security bill. You'd think with all this interest in computer security, I could find a new job.

Now just imagine a hive of bees and they all have your brain...that's what mine is like.

2001-12-05T11:01:00.000-08:00

Ya know, you try to get stuff straight in life, decide to chronicle your deeds, ideas, what have you. Start about doing it, and fail miserably. Well at least I have.

This blog was supposed to be where I could share with the world my thoughts, ideas, projects I'm working on. Yet I find it very hard to chronicle the immeasurably boring events of my life.

Working on this, started this, want to finish this...blah.

I don't even have any interesting links to post.

Things I'm paying attention to on the web:
It looks like desktop modification/tweaking/all around cool eye-candy site Deskmod is making a comeback after almost a year hiatus.

News/discussion board you love to hate Plastic is remodling. So I've been sticking pretty heavy to Metafilter for all of my coverage on the decline of man.

That's about it, no pictures, no cool website like I promised, like anyone's even seen this beyond me and my roomates, maybe later I dunno.

I've been enrolling for online classes at Kaplan for my B.S. in I.T. So things are kind of hectic as I'm trying to reevaluate my life plan( ick..I've admitted it ). Seeing as even with 4 years of I.T. experience, a 3rd of that being in Systems Security( auditing et. al. ), the rest being in systems admin and tech support. I'm still stuck delivering mail earning a paltry living and scraping by on the kindness of those around me. Of which I thank and love all of you.

2001-10-11T14:15:00.000-07:00

A month to the day...

Sept. 11th, 2001 was no doubt for me one of the oddest days ever. Gut feelings to the tragic events were expected and accepted. "We're going to war...we're going to war." was heard more than once that day. Even by people who would seem, for the most part, to be against any such retaliation.

The day started off with me waking up to my alarm clock, in which I had no idea what it entailed at the time, but I heard the chilling story about the agents who were escorting the perpatrator of the '93 WTC bombing.

"See that...they're still standing"
"They wouldn't be if I had more money."

After hitting the snooze, I awoke to my roomates screaming to each other through the bathroom door. "They've flown airplanes in to the Twin Towers, there's fires in the Whitehouse, they've also hit the Pentagon!". Later I was unable to confirm the fires in the Whitehouse account. I went back to sleep for a few more minutes with the thought in mind that the world is ending. In a way, it has.

After waking up I headed downstairs before taking my shower, to turn on the TV to confirm my previous "end-times" thoughts. Just in time to watch the first tower fall.

Trudging to work and getting those first few "We're going to war." comments drained any life left in me. I smiled halfheartedly and nodded while keeping my thoughts to myself.

Wait a minute, Monika( relative ) lives in New York, I wonder if anyone had heard from her yet. I fired off an e-mail to my father in Italy as Monika and her boyfriend had just got back from visiting him.

Spent the next few hours doing my job, briefly discussing the events with my uber-liberal( yet knew the workings of the system ) co-worker until lunch time, when I check my e-mail, and see this:

"Erik,
Monika (with a K just like you) worked in the World Trade Center. The last we heard from her was she called her mother on the cell phone and said she was evacuating from the 35th floor of the south tower. I hope she got out OK. Anne Marie talked to Leslie (Monika's mom) and that was the last word we got."

...

Tried to go about my lunchtime routine, by which time the local paper had printed it's special edition with the second planes explosion on the front page. Grabbed a copy, and a soda, and headed back to work to tell them I would not be coming back that day.

Luckily, I made it home and my roomate had just gotten off the phone with my dad and he said Monika was okay. Called from Chinatown. I still wasn't going to make it back to work that day.

Called the parents, dad was all ready to go to some kind of retalitory action, for some reason, I expressed my feelings that this was a concerted effort to boost the economy by our own government. Which he shot down vehemently and automatically expressed his disgust for my "conspiracy theories". Oh well, I don't know any more than he does.

I had pretty much been able to cope with the tragedies as best as anyone could possibly. But today( 10/11/01 ) our company decided we needed to have an evacuation drill. We all filed down the stairwell, somewhat unaware of what the imlpications( to me ) of this event were. Halfway down the building I started getting shaky. Images of what the people in the Twin Towers must have went through and seen flashed through my head. I made it out of the building and over to the "gathering place" and quickly found some co-workers I feel comfortable with, and calmed down.

Nothing real traumatic, just the fact that it has been a month to the day. We're raining bombs on poverty stricken people, and preparing for the worst in even the most calm "big" city I have lived in. So yes, that world has ended.

2001-10-02T23:30:00.000-07:00

Yeah! I finally decided on a Bulletin Board system to help us at Brainflavor organize our projects and communicate effectively. The wonderful piece of open-source software is phpweblog.

I have phpweblog running on an OpenBSD server, running Apache with php_4.0 with a mySQL database.

I am very impressed by the really intuitive administration features of this BBS. It was also very easy to get going. phpweblog also performs a lot quicker than Bender 2.0 was on my server.

In other news,Chief-Ra purchased the Brainflavor domain yesterday. Expect it up within the next week! I may be moving my blog there also, we'll see.